DrContrarian

Having bagged the notion of PMA in generalised way, I probably should be a bit more specific about my gripes. There are some benefits to be gained from PMA, but this does not exonerate those who have jumped on the positive thinking bandwagon. In fact I hope it reinforces the notion that the gospel of the positive attitude, as preached by the gurus who are enamoured by their own egos, is stupid and wrong – even dangerous to your mental health. Being be the parent of high-achieving children (budding sports stars, I have been exposed to my fair share of PMA, goal setting gurus – believe me. And I can promise you some of the shit they teach can have a devastating effect on people. PMA can play a role in people becoming more successful - if success is defined as the achievement of set goals. (That is a whole new debate: What is your definition of success?). But the human mind is like a finely balanced machine – you don’t want any hack mechanic to work on it – and almost definitely not a...

Mentees probably join a mentoring program for an array of reasons, and some of which are likely to doom the relationship. The first thing I will do with my mentee is to establish clearly and honestly why she joined the program. There is list of things I won’t be doing, and the top of the list looks like this: Telling her what to do. Doing stuff for her. Leverage my network. It may seem odd that I won’t be dishing out advice, but I happen to be a firm believer in the Socratic method of teaching. I will ask the questions that will lead her to arrive at an answer. If I am any good, it will be the answer I think is right. I won’t do stuff – I have enough to do. I have a business – a family – a life. I am not doing it for charitable purposes. I can’t charge for my services. Despite the fact that this expectation is dealt with upfront, I am pretty sure the reason why the organisers have to keep dealing with an the introduction evening is because it keeps popping up. I won’t leverage ...

Tomorrow is my first time voting as a citizen of Australia. 1. I think the Greens will have a massive gain - surprising everyone - and not for the reason everybody thinks (climate change). 2. Is Australia a democracy if voting is compulsory?

I started on the journey of joining a local initiative to act as a mentor. Being a pedant, the first thing that struck me was the use of mentor and mentoree (sic) as the labels. I am proud to say that I refrained from correcting it on the spot, and now having checked the dictionary ( http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mentee ) I was tempted to let them know of the error of their ways. I am proud to say I resisted. Mum will be proud: I am growing up.... very slowly. To be honest (as that is what this blog is all about) if I was the organiser, I would want to be corrected rather than make a fool of myself. On the other hand it may be an “in” joke or peculiarly Australian. Being in the training/learning business, I suppose the act of mentoring is simply a different kind of training. But for most people, even very experienced business people, would no doubt fall into the trap of becoming de facto consultants. This whole process will require time I can ill afford, and I would not...

Having grown up and lived in South Africa we are/were , possibly more than other nations, exposed to pain and suffering. Few us do not know a family who has not lost a loved one through rape or hijacking, or even just through the carnage on the road during festive seasons. The pain of such violent and seemingly unnecessary suffering is probably more severe than ‘normal’ pain. The Reach for a dream Foundation strives to alleviate the immeasurably sadness of children being terminally ill, apparently with some success. It always amazes and saddens me to see a skinny, bald-headed 7-year old exhilarated by a ride in a hot-air balloon; or a little deformed girl ecstatic about an opportunity to sit in the cab of a steam locomotive or the cockpit of a jet. The absolute, unmitigated, joy is so apparent, and they are so blissfully unaware of the profound sense of tragedy that permeates that scene. The late John Denver, well known for his soppy Country & Western ballads, phrase...

Attended a session today on networking skills. I wanted to test whether my understanding of networking was the same as most other people. So it is only fair to say what I believe: Networking is not about selling. Networking is not about building your profile. Networking is not about gathering as many leads as possible. IMHO, networking should be about giving as much as you can. You attend these functions to meet other people – and try and help them as much as you reasonably can – if not at that moment, down the track. (Assuming of course they are worthy of your referral.) I believe the more you give, the more you will get in return. But here is the catch: you can not do so with the expectation of getting it back. (There is fine line between knowing you will get something back and expecting it.] To be fair to the presenter and this particular model, it was pretty close. Selling and lead-gathering was suitably de-emphasized. The whole approach was one of the least cynical ...

Success – that elusive thing A new (ish) book out now by Carol Dweck ( Mindset: The New Psychology of Success) has now postulated a new theory about success. Surprise, surprise, the ‘positive mental attitude’ (Dale Carnegie + million others) is apparently not sufficient. It really depends, according to Dr. Dweck, on whether your mindset is fixed or whether it is a growth mindset. She contends that a fixed mindset is actually negative, because, even if you believe you are talented or that you are a star, that this mindset limits your growth and achievement. On the other hand, a ‘growth’ mindset allows you to learn, grow and improve. Dweck discovered that mastery-oriented children are very keen on learning something and they effectively have “learning goals” - which inspire a different chain of thoughts and behaviours than “performance goals.” [Private thought 1: Soon, everyone will agree with my thoughts, which were originally quite contrarian J . Private th...