DrContrarian

It would be disingenuous of me to state that I am (want to) debunk this as a myth, because I am not going to completely go the opposite way and say that you should NOT believe in yourself. But I would like to put it into perspective. Self-doubt is a good thing. Roger Federer continues to play tournament after tournament and cherishes every win exactly because he has a little of doubt as to whether he will succeed. If he had no doubt, he would stop playing because there was no joy in winning and no challenge to conquer. It is exactly because there is a risk of losing that people go out and play. No sane adult will go to Little Athletics meetings and race against the toddlers. If it was only about the importance of winning, that is what we could do. But winning is made desirable and special exactly because it is about overcoming the fear of losing and conquering the self-doubt. If you find yourself in a state of complete and utter confidence (and you are being truthful) then you are n...

It would be disingenuous of me to state that I am (want to) debunk this as a myth, because I am not going to completely go the opposite way and say that you should NOT believe in yourself. But I would like to put it into perspective. Self-doubt is a good thing. Roger Federer continues to play tournament after tournament and cherishes every win exactly because he has a little of doubt as to whether he will succeed. If he had no doubt, he would stop playing because there was no joy in winning and no challenge to conquer. It is exactly because there is a risk of losing that people go out and play. No sane adult will go to Little Athletics meetings and race against the toddlers. If it was only about the importance of winning, that is what we could do. But winning is made desirable and special exactly because it is about overcoming the fear of losing and conquering the self-doubt. If you find yourself in a state of complete and utter confidence (and you are being truthful) then you are n...

Confidence almost invariably leads complacency to over-confidence which leads to’ arseholeness’. There must be rare occasions when this progression does not naturally occur, but I can’t think of an example. There is a truism that’s states: Confidence breeds confidence. That IS the nature of confidence. So, by definition, confidence always ‘grows’ – and inevitably people don’t know when to stop. I am sure some self-help gurus will argue that you can never have too much confidence. (I’d say, think ice-cream.) Some gurus will say that the problem is rarely once of too much confidence and that the bigger issue is growing confidence. To this I say: maybe so, but only if you understand the need to manage the confidence growth – and knowing when to stop. THAT is never taught – and that is my issue. I don’t believe lack of confidence is the opposite of confidence. I am not advocating being unsure. What the world desperately needs, is more humility. Old-fashioned and contrary to the culture ...

Is confidence really all it is cracked up to be? It may be counter-intuitive (hey I am contrarian) but confidence may be counter-productive. When you are confident you are less aware of your situation, your environment and the people around because you simply don’t need to be. In the first instance that makes you extremely vulnerable to delusions of grandeur which turns you into an instant arsehole. (Which might not matter to you, because you are Mr Big) but it matters to the people who buy from you, it matters to the people who want network with you. Granted, arseholeness does not follow confidence automatically, but too often it does. (Ask Trump…) The difference between confidence and over-confidence is only a wink away. Confidence makes you vulnerable to your enemies because you simply cannot physically remain alert to danger signals if you are focused on yourself and ‘being confident’. Confidence requires a high level of self-awareness (and some may say self-absorption), and t...