DrContrarian

Confidence almost invariably leads complacency to over-confidence which leads to’ arseholeness’. There must be rare occasions when this progression does not naturally occur, but I can’t think of an example. There is a truism that’s states: Confidence breeds confidence. That IS the nature of confidence. So, by definition, confidence always ‘grows’ – and inevitably people don’t know when to stop. I am sure some self-help gurus will argue that you can never have too much confidence. (I’d say, think ice-cream.) Some gurus will say that the problem is rarely once of too much confidence and that the bigger issue is growing confidence. To this I say: maybe so, but only if you understand the need to manage the confidence growth – and knowing when to stop. THAT is never taught – and that is my issue. I don’t believe lack of confidence is the opposite of confidence. I am not advocating being unsure. What the world desperately needs, is more humility. Old-fashioned and contrary to the culture ...

Is confidence really all it is cracked up to be? It may be counter-intuitive (hey I am contrarian) but confidence may be counter-productive. When you are confident you are less aware of your situation, your environment and the people around because you simply don’t need to be. In the first instance that makes you extremely vulnerable to delusions of grandeur which turns you into an instant arsehole. (Which might not matter to you, because you are Mr Big) but it matters to the people who buy from you, it matters to the people who want network with you. Granted, arseholeness does not follow confidence automatically, but too often it does. (Ask Trump…) The difference between confidence and over-confidence is only a wink away. Confidence makes you vulnerable to your enemies because you simply cannot physically remain alert to danger signals if you are focused on yourself and ‘being confident’. Confidence requires a high level of self-awareness (and some may say self-absorption), and t...

Festinger sums it up as follows: “ According to cognitive dissonance theory, there is a tendency for individuals to seek consistency among their cognitions (i.e., beliefs, opinions). When there is an inconsistency between attitudes or behaviors (dissonance), something must change to eliminate the dissonance. In the case of a discrepancy between attitudes and behavior, it is most likely that the attitude will change to accommodate the behavior.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustress Did you get that? When attitudes and behaviours collide, the winner is almost always…. BEHAVIOUR. Not attitude! Not even a positive mental attitude. The importance of this observation cannot be under-estimated. If there is any discordance between your attitude (positive) and your behaviour (negative) then your ATTITUDE will change to match. This means your attitude changes to match your behaviour . When the kids were younger and they still laughed at my antics, I used to play a little game with them....