DrContrarian

People say you should be tolerant. But should you tolerate laziness, poor personal hygiene or stealing?   Should you tolerate abusers, perverts and scoundrels? People say you should not be judgmental. But if you don’t judge, how do you know when to cross the road? If you don’t judge whether something is appropriate how do you know it is inappropriate? If we don’t judge, how do we lock someone way for their crimes? People say you should not discriminate, but I eat certain foods every day and drink certain wines because I discriminate. I stand up for an older person on a bus because I discriminate. When I put it like that, you will be quick to realise the ridiculousness of a blanket statement like you should be tolerant or you should not judge. You might now start to qualify the statements: ·          You should tolerate what is good and what is bad. ·          You should use your judge...

Focus more on the similarities, less on the differences.

The biggest killer of success is success. (The fear of failure grows in direct proportion to what you have got to lose.) This Contrarian principle has a number of corollaries: Bigger is always worse Innovation leads to less innovation Growth leads to death If you think you disagree, just add (ultimately) to the end of each of the above. Such is Life.

You must have figured out by now that I an a fan of chaos theory. (And systems thinking.) So I believe there is a KEY, a pattern to the universe that has not yet been discovered. (This image from http://aimath.org/E8/mcmullen.html) It relates to the story of Garrett Lisi (39) who has developed a theory that unifies the theories about the universe. Even if you are not interested in this stuff, it is a cool read simply to look at how he has 'positioned' himself in the world of science.

I must be honest about the previous post and admit the weakness that I have fallen in love with. (Blogs should be about honesty, right? And besides, and can’t just point the finger at everyone else without acknowledging my own failures; that would be hypocritical and that is NOT one of my weaknesses.) My own weakness parading as a strength is that I can be am argumentative. This is because I believe TRUTH is paramount (at least my version of the truth). And I have been ‘truthful’ to the point of hurting people’s feelings: as long as the truth can prevail. It is not just a weakness; it is quite sadly more than that. But instead of dealing with the cause of it, I have learned to justify it to myself to the extent that I have even become proud of it and started justifying it to everyone else. It is quite easy to put truth on a pedestal; how can anyone argue against ‘honesty’ as positive attribute? But the fact is that no society can function properly without the small white lies tha...

Too often I am asked about how one goes about building trust or winning someone’s trust. I then proceed to give advice, but to be perfectly truthful; I find it hard to trust anybody outside of my very immediate circle. Nobody knows you and nobody owes you. Andy Grove was famous for his paranoia about the competition – even when Intel had ridiculous market shares of 80%. You have always been a little suspicious. Maybe you have even known it, but were too afraid to admit to yourself. That little voice inside your head has become a chorus that you can no longer ignore. Management is played by a set of rules that you are not always privy too. Have you wondered why you don’t get ahead faster, why you don’t get the plum projects or why the new guy seemed to fit in better than you did? You have a sneaky suspicion that some other guy – or gal – who is doing the same job, earns more money than you do. You may have sought some answers from your manager. Or you may have blamed your inexperien...

I should just clarify: I do not believe that lying is the way to go. I don't practice or advocate lying. I am referring to things like: Thanks, what a lovely meal... when it was pretty average Getting up for someone older (on the bus) but doing it with a little bit of resentment towards someone younger than you who did not get up - but not causing a scene Blessing a sneeze - but not meaning it These are simple social graces that infills the yawning gaps in the ugliness of beauty- without which we cannot function; because truth is just too ugly.

I have been an ardent follower of the dogma of truth. In my younger days I even hurt people close to me , and justified my behaviour because it was the 'truth'. Sadly I have not completely shaken the habit. And I say so not because I want to be admired for a very attractive weakness (like the interviewee who identifies his weakness as 'failing to strike a world/life balance') but I honestly believe that the truth is over-rated. The opposite of Truth is not willful deceit, but simply untruth; so I am not advocating deceit as the preferred communication platform. But untruths are highly misunderstood and under-appreciated. One variety - the white lie - is commonly used and understood, but we usually don't even contemplate the extent to which we rely on deceit. Jim Carrey's move (Liar Liar) was reasonably funny, but I doubt that it led to the serious introspection or philosophical debate of the value of Truth that this particular phenomenon deserves. In a world of ...