Skip to main content

Network: Is it still bullshit if there is a tacit understanding…?

Attended a session today on networking skills.

I wanted to test whether my understanding of networking was the same as most other people. So it is only fair to say what I believe:

  • Networking is not about selling.
  • Networking is not about building your profile.
  • Networking is not about gathering as many leads as possible.

IMHO, networking should be about giving as much as you can. You attend these functions to meet other people – and try and help them as much as you reasonably can – if not at that moment, down the track. (Assuming of course they are worthy of your referral.) I believe the more you give, the more you will get in return. But here is the catch: you can not do so with the expectation of getting it back. (There is fine line between knowing you will get something back and expecting it.]

To be fair to the presenter and this particular model, it was pretty close. Selling and lead-gathering was suitably de-emphasized. The whole approach was one of the least cynical I have come across.

But the mere fact that people are trained not to sell to their immediate network, but rather to seek referrals with those 1, 2, or 3 steps removed, and the fact that you are trained to do so only once there is a certain level of trust, does not justify the active seeking of referrals.

There is no problem asking for a referral from anyone. Being in sales myself, I fully appreciate the value of a warm lead.

I only have a problem with people attending functions and socialising with specific people with the express purpose of ‘building a relationship’ to be exploited at a future date. A relationship that is built on this foundation can never be an authentic or meaningful relationship.

Is networking acceptable if both parties willingly and knowingly enter into the ‘relationship’ based on its network value? I suppose that it is – but then it is a tacit commercial agreement; just don’t call it a relationship. Relationships have intrinsic value, and are not built on the basis of its potential commercial gain – albeit a few degrees removed. That does not make it any better – it just disguised it better and makes it more palatable. (A donkey dropping coated in sugar is still a donkey dropping, don’t try and pass it off as a fig.)

So let’s stop the bullshit. Ask for a lead if you have to or want to. But don’t pretend to care about a relationship which exists expressly for your personal gain.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hey Bruce Springsteen; you hypocrite

Bruce, I love your music man. It is old-fashioned, but I like it. My favourite song is actually not Born in the USA or the like, but Streets of Philadelphia. Not only is it a nice tune, I really like the message too. But you know, I don’t like how you play your politics. Make no mistake, I don’t MIND your politics and I am sure we can agree on a lot of things – and even in this case I may even agree with your belief. So the point is not where you stand on the issue.  But I don’t like the hypocritical way you play it. So you cancel a concert and boycott a state that you disagree with. I am sure you think that it is your way to express your support for people who are getting the short straw. I am sure you see it as your right to play in front of whoever and wherever. But Bruce, can I ask you this: Have you refunded all the money you made from selling songs to the states that hold a different view to you? Have you asked those citizens not to buy your...
Post a Comment
Read more

If not confidence, what is it then?

Confidence almost invariably leads complacency to over-confidence which leads to’ arseholeness’. There must be rare occasions when this progression does not naturally occur, but I can’t think of an example. There is a truism that’s states: Confidence breeds confidence. That IS the nature of confidence. So, by definition, confidence always ‘grows’ – and inevitably people don’t know when to stop. I am sure some self-help gurus will argue that you can never have too much confidence. (I’d say, think ice-cream.) Some gurus will say that the problem is rarely once of too much confidence and that the bigger issue is growing confidence. To this I say: maybe so, but only if you understand the need to manage the confidence growth – and knowing when to stop. THAT is never taught – and that is my issue. I don’t believe lack of confidence is the opposite of confidence. I am not advocating being unsure. What the world desperately needs, is more humility. Old-fashioned and contrary to the culture ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Manifesto: 91 things I believe

Knowledge is fossilised intuition. Love is built on a foundation of fear. Your senses bring the trouble. Pornography is a mirror, Art is a window. Passion is ignorance. Enjoyment requires the temporary suspension of reality. Fun is a requisite illusion (for sanity.) Hierarchy is a circle. Nothing is more important. Personality is the projection of consensus. All invention is rediscovery. The end is radical step change. Everything is natural. Happiness is not meant to be. Consequence is the shadow of living. Poetry is the language of pain. (Pain is the language of poetry…) Feelings are over-rated electrical connections. Equality is an error of measurement. Luck is being surprised by destiny. A path offers least resistance. You can only see as far as you can think. Greed is the fuel of the universe. Process determines outcome. All people are afraid. (Because we think more than we are.) Values are anchors of insecurity. An ounce of failure weighs more than an ounce of success. All the...
Post a Comment
Read more